Smoked salmon plate has had enough

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Aah, to spend two evenings at the Conservatorium Hotel where luxury is a Bentley dealership in the lobby…

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…where, as the concierge said, like Fawlty Towers, we have experienced a series of unfortunate events, having to use the employee service elevator which takes you to the -1 level on its own and shows you the laundry room, because the main elevator is out of service, the inadvertent fire alarms ringing randomly like an old schoolhouse wiring system falling apart…we lack no source of entertainment here in our five-star hotel at the heart of the museum district.

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No worries.  Let us eat dessert and call it a night.  We have many trinkets to pack for our flight back across the Big Pond.

I shall remember the strong street odours — old fish, perfume, moldy wood, burnt metal, canal water, sewage, river water, peat, new leather, old leather, wet wool, hay, smokehouse cinders, wood shavings…

And smile!

While lounge patrons giggle and drink in order to hopefully fall in love.

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