I don’t know what to say when I don’t know what to say.
I have reached a point where/when I live in the present moment, the past/future nearly invisible.
If I don’t believe there is a difference between this moment and the next…
…sigh…what is the reality of humans settling/populating the Moon, Mars, Enceladus, etc., if the moments are all the same?
I am stuck in the space between me and not me, between what I selfishly want for myself and (or?) what is best for the whole species with me in the picture but out of the way.
How do the subsets that separately contain happiness and contentment intersect?
What if they dont?
Which one do I choose for the permanent moment that is the rest of my life?
Do I have to choose?
What if I just fade back into obscurity, secure that our species will do just fine with little input from me as I become yet another quiet consumer of mass media, my name forgotten while I’m alive, let alone after I’m dead, leaving no progeny behind that maybe might remember a little something about me a few generations from now?
Tonight, I am stuck…
Stuck in the quicksand of conspicuous consumption.
Who am I and is the self any reason to be alive?